Fashion Inspector Gifts

"Inspected by #16."

In the Guru District

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

The Style of Elements

Men's business romper.

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

Instructions for Bow Tie Wearers

"I like you in that one—it gives you an aura of mindfulness."

My Bangs: A Play in 5 Acts

'You're hopeful - worrying about what underwear to wear for the office party!'

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

Girl in cow onesie.

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

"That shirt is so last year."

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

'She dressed herself this morning.'

'I'll take it!'

"Love the bag, Stell! Very career."

Mating rituals

"Honey, I think that's too many bows."

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

Western Outfitters.

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

"You can't find the menswear department? Oh, I'm sorry, Sir- I was standing in front of it."

Non-Uniform Day Today.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

How would Madam like to pay?

'Good to know my whole social life hasn't been a complete waste.'