Fashion-forward Thinkers Gifts

"My first choice college should have lots of closet space."

"Why don't you understand? I'm a prime advertising target."

For Summer Comfort...The Seersucker Mammoth:

Gluten Free Dry Cleaning

Help! I can't move! It's the suction.

Hairstyles to hide big ears

"Very good Mr Johnson. Now perhaps you could repeat your proposal whilst simultaneously stroking your beard? Somehow that makes you more convincing..."

Barber Shop in the Coronavirus Age

"Reverend, we need to get you a button-down collar."

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

Scot to a Greek: 'Love your outfit.'

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

'I told him not to wear stretchy pants to dinner.'

"Overkill, dude."

Christmas sweater alternatives

'Which fashion magazine do you recommend?'

Standardisation: "I don't understand...it fitted us OK!"

"I'm having second thoughts about those damn school uniforms."

Son, you'll never be quick on the draw unless you pull your dang pants up.

Beware of Dawg.

"You want to grow a ponytail? OK...as long as it's not from hair growing out of your ears."

"I'm never ready for sweater weather."

'...but since no fossils of dinosaur clothing have yet been found, what you see here is mostly speculation.'

The Bland Leading the Bland

'You've had the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing.

Social Struggles

"Late Jurassic is so Retro..."

Chippunks

A tailor measuring a jacket.

"It's off the rack. The guy on the rack doesn't need it anymore."

"Hold on a minute, will you? I just want to see what color Charlie Rose's tie is tonight."

'We'd like to christen him 2GR4T7VXS35. That way it'll be easier for him to get his own web domain name when he's older.'