Fashion Forward Gifts

Standardisation: "I don't understand...it fitted us OK!"

Scot to a Greek: 'Love your outfit.'

Secretary is filing her nails and wears ear rings which read, 'IN' and, 'OUT'.

A tailor measuring a jacket.

Two men, one with his abdomen outside his trousers, the other with it inside. 'The Tummy Tuck.'

"I want an easy to care for style that's also a desperate cry for help."

'My boy friend is having a hard time finding work -- he may have to sell his earring.'

"You're not really going out dressed like that, are you?"

Capital Punishment

'I'm s00 hungry!'

'You must have something in my size?'

"I'm never ready for sweater weather."

A life model paints a clothed man

'Trending gender neutral and strictly off his chump!'

'What do you call a blonde doing hand stands? A brunette.'

'You've had the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

'Natural selection'

Beware of Dawg.

'I'm afraid your power tie has made you sterile.'

Modern teenager.

Well worth the agony

"Let's face it, you've reached peak tattoo."

'Tell me about yourself, Mr. Mosely - the nose ring, earring, the MBA tattooed to your forehead.'

"Stop putting your hands on my breasts with your eyes."

"You aren't fooling anyone, Mrs. Beck. We know your daughter has a rash."

"I've just followed you on Inked-In."

Christmas sweater alternatives

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

"Tia Carmen, you just don't understand teen fashion."

"Mr. Van Gogh's mother let him cut off his whole ear, and you won't even let me get mine pierced."

'He looks loaded!'

Fowl Weather

'The TV is HD ready - my car is i-Pod ready, the chicken is oven ready - are YOU ready?'

'Be sure to take a companion that matches your dress, young lady!'

'Chess Masters.'