Fashion Forward Rider Gifts

"I like you in a tie."

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

Scot to a Greek: 'Love your outfit.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Mind taking off your scarf.'

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

'I told him not to wear stretchy pants to dinner.'

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

Christmas sweater alternatives

"Overkill, dude."

'Which fashion magazine do you recommend?'

Standardisation: "I don't understand...it fitted us OK!"

Son, you'll never be quick on the draw unless you pull your dang pants up.

Beware of Dawg.

"I'm never ready for sweater weather."

'You've had the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

Social Struggles

The Bland Leading the Bland

"Late Jurassic is so Retro..."

A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing.

Chippunks

A tailor measuring a jacket.

"It's off the rack. The guy on the rack doesn't need it anymore."

'You're never going to win any race in those platform shoes.'

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

"How much more for pinstripes?"

Prosecco Drinker

"Just think, someday we'll be considered 'retro'."

"If my mother and father had wanted to see Yves Saint Laurent's initials on my possessions, one supposes they would have named me Yves Saint Laurent."

"I want you to work late. Put on your overtime shoes."

"Hold on a minute, will you? I just want to see what color Charlie Rose's tie is tonight."

"Apparently, the golf clothes and expensive golf clubs didn't help you play better."

'I imagine you're interested in one of the more highly visible occupations?'

Two men, one with his abdomen outside his trousers, the other with it inside. 'The Tummy Tuck.'