Fashion Forward Fighter Gifts

"Erik- do me a favor."

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

Scot to a Greek: 'Love your outfit.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

'I told him not to wear stretchy pants to dinner.'

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

'Which fashion magazine do you recommend?'

Christmas sweater alternatives

"Overkill, dude."

Standardisation: "I don't understand...it fitted us OK!"

Beware of Dawg.

Son, you'll never be quick on the draw unless you pull your dang pants up.

"I'm never ready for sweater weather."

Chippunks

A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing.

'You've had the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

"Late Jurassic is so Retro..."

Social Struggles

A tailor measuring a jacket.

"It's off the rack. The guy on the rack doesn't need it anymore."

'You're never going to win any race in those platform shoes.'

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

"Just think, someday we'll be considered 'retro'."

Prosecco Drinker

"If my mother and father had wanted to see Yves Saint Laurent's initials on my possessions, one supposes they would have named me Yves Saint Laurent."

"How much more for pinstripes?"

"Apparently, the golf clothes and expensive golf clubs didn't help you play better."

"Hold on a minute, will you? I just want to see what color Charlie Rose's tie is tonight."

'I imagine you're interested in one of the more highly visible occupations?'

Two men, one with his abdomen outside his trousers, the other with it inside. 'The Tummy Tuck.'