Fashion-forward Cyclists Gifts

"Remember, if anyone asks, we say we wear these fantastic outfits because they're aerodynamic."

'Mind taking off your scarf.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

Evidence of the Mythic Unicornbrowcycle,

'You're never going to win any race in those platform shoes.'

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

"Apparently, the golf clothes and expensive golf clubs didn't help you play better."

Hell's Allotment Holders.

Boris Bike

Motor Cycle Service - Biker having more studs added to jacket

"It cuts air resistance."

Look sharp, women! We're shooting video of our game. I hope it shows our huge victory! Goose! It's for seniors to send to college hockey recruiters. So? It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you look playing the game!

Man on exercise bike plugged into the TV.

Sorry, coach. My mom says the other football pants are "too revealing."

A Muscle checking out some shirts made for Muscles

'Why didn't you stop it?' - 'I didn't want to get my new gloves dirty.'

Ladies in Lycra

'The sport's still a mystery to me. I just found out that I look great in uniform.'

'Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers?'

"I always carry a spare of trousers. Just in case I get a hole in one."

Monkey on Bike

Mr Thompson let go of the bike, and Bobby cycled freely into the new world, never to be seen again.

"I like you in a tie."

"None of these bikes have navigational systems, backup cameras or bluetooth."

'I wouldn't be caught dead looking like that!'

Tennis Cosmetic Surgery.

Bike ramp engineered by: Gracie Bermudez

'They keep the flies out of my eyes and I look cool at the same time!'

'I don't care how much they're paying you to endorse their shoes. Get rid of them!'

Y'know, somedays I feel like going dor a bike ride, but I don't have any clothes that look stupid enough.

'Are you nuts wearing a tutu?! You know that's Gordon's signature look!'

"I knew coming back into the office would present problems..."

Cyclists with a pollution guard on having a cigarette

'I wanted a cute little Italian subcompact. Even took one out for a test drive - but it made my bum look Fiat.'

'Hey ladies! Check out my go faster stripes!'