Fashionable Thinker Gifts

Surveying.

Annual run-off at the mouth.

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"I’ll tell ya who’s got a ‘dark side’: my cat, that’s who. You should see what she did to my Manolo Blahnik pumps!"

"You want to grow a ponytail? OK...as long as it's not from hair growing out of your ears."

"I'm having second thoughts about those damn school uniforms."

The Bland Leading the Bland

"Late Jurassic is so Retro..."

A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing.

Social Struggles

Chippunks

Ceiling Paint

"It's off the rack. The guy on the rack doesn't need it anymore."

"How much more for pinstripes?"

"Hold on a minute, will you? I just want to see what color Charlie Rose's tie is tonight."

Made It! Without getting one tattoo.

"Just think, someday we'll be considered 'retro'."

Here's eco club's green-prom tip sheet. Let's see. Wear vintage clothing. Buy locally grown corsage flowers. Use biodegradable cups and plates. Eco club. This is so obvious. How about the tough stuff? Ok. Who knows where to recycle gel pads from push-up bras? The place that takes the fake hair extensions?

'You know you're 40 when...'(women)

'I imagine you're interested in one of the more highly visible occupations?'

Smart meter. Smarter meter

Down at the Local Baa-Baa Shop

"Which one more says 'Cool Guy?'"

"Is that what you're wearing?"

If a tree falls in the forest but there's no hashtag for it ...

"Do you have any questions apart from 'where did I get my jazzy tie'?"

Barber Shop in the Coronavirus Age

'Gus! Get over here and see what our tattoos used to look like!'

'Malcolm is unswayed by post-foundationalist trendiness.'

"Reverend, we need to get you a button-down collar."

A guardsman is embarrassed when the wind reveals his bearskin hat is doubling as a 'comb over'.

Style

"Does this fig leaf make me look fat?" "And so it begins..."