Fashion Consultants Gifts

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

In the Guru District

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Men's business romper.

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Instructions for Bow Tie Wearers

"I like you in that one—it gives you an aura of mindfulness."

'You're hopeful - worrying about what underwear to wear for the office party!'

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

My Bangs: A Play in 5 Acts

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

GQ Magazine: Stay at Home Special.

"Honey, I think that's too many bows."

'She dressed herself this morning.'

'I'll take it!'

"Love the bag, Stell! Very career."

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

"You can't find the menswear department? Oh, I'm sorry, Sir- I was standing in front of it."

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

How would Madam like to pay?

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

Trendies, INC

'Good to know my whole social life hasn't been a complete waste.'

Utility Chic.

'No no no - that skirt is soooo half past four...'

Saleswoman holds mirror up to the backside of the bride's dress

'Note the bold use of gray.'

"I want it to look good, but not ill-gotten-gains good."

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

"I thought I put on my 'big boy' pants this morning but apparently they were my 'fire me' pants."

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

'They're pinching my toes!'

"Well, Tarzan, after spending all your time in the jungle, could you handle working in a small cubicle? And yes, there is a dress code, so you'll have to replace that loincloth with a suit and tie."