Farmland Warrior Gifts

Farmers

City Zoo: Day Care

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

Cat in a tank...

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

Monkey-artist

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

Save the unicorn.

"Catching him was easy. Getting him through the cat door....Now that's another story."

"Go ahead if you want to: Me, I'll wait for the bears to be sated before I risk it..."

"Touché"

Climate Change

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

'We're a protected species and an endangered speices, but when I see a person, I don't know if he's protecting us or endangering us.'

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

'Good grief! Aren't you extinct yet?'

'Daniel! How many times have I told you not to bury that in the back yard! I'm going to be late for work!'

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

"Must get a longer cable."

'I think he's got a bad case of Bluetooth Disease.'

'Since he bought the leaf blower I hardly ever see him.'

'I fought the lawn and the lawn won.'

'First weeds of spring.'

Cheesie Rider

'You knew all the time that we were inseparable.'

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

'There is nobody else. I'm afraid we've wiped out all of the other species.'