Farm Race Promoter Gifts

Higher milk production

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

Create some buzz!

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

Farmers' Warnings.

'I wonder how long he's been a vet?'

'I forgave ya for puttin' 'em all in one basket, but this goes too far!'

'It's not good enough that you are my yes persons, I want you imprinted on me!'

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

"Come on, honey, try just one Goliath pea. It's organic, locally grown, and GMO free."

'I guess everything's okay, doc, two legs is showing, one out of each hole."

Can we have our hedgehog back please?(Hedgehog is stuck to the tree)

'Remember, son. A winner is one who can keep his head while all around him are losing theirs.'

Cattle farmer's super-market

Middle Management Training.

"So I can eat better here at work."

"Guys, can you please stay still for a second so that I can do the Spring lamb-census?"

"...and the farmers - what would they do without me?...wait, don't answer that!"

'Are you sure this is part of the Yankee farm system?'

Dairy farmer looking for staff.

"I'm sorry son, but one day all this will be yours."

"Oddly enough, I could never work in a cubicle."

I splurged on some organic, handcrafted goat cheese from a local artisanal farmer. Looks good. How much did it cost? $12.37 a gulp. Burp.

"Farmers are always complaining about the amount of paperwork that Europe generates...but if you use your imagination then you can turn it to your advantage!"

"If you roped your cowhand by mistake, turn to page 21..."

"Walter! What brings you out to the Ohio office?"

'Gee, Doctor Dresher, you have a wonderful way with horses....

'Doc lost his new watch while checking old 32.'

Bar Code Harvester

"He just heard he's going to stud!"

"I have to say, it`s not every boss that buys their workers a bottle for their hard work."

'Every time we go out for a steak dinner, Sander thinks he recongnizes...

"I think we need a mission statement."

'Now if you can break it in half, it's not an ovary....'