Farm Manager Gifts

'Say hello, everyone, to Bert Phelps. He'll be taking the job of security manager for our entire poultry products division!'

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

'Remember, son. A winner is one who can keep his head while all around him are losing theirs.'

Farmers' Warnings.

'I wonder how long he's been a vet?'

'You're a genius, Greg!'

Middle Management Training.

"He just heard he's going to stud!"

"The cow said moo, the pig said oink, the chicken went cluck cluck, I baaed and then we adjourned."

"I think we need a mission statement."

"Walter! What brings you out to the Ohio office?"

"Guys, can you please stay still for a second so that I can do the Spring lamb-census?"

"I have to say, it`s not every boss that buys their workers a bottle for their hard work."

'I forgave ya for puttin' 'em all in one basket, but this goes too far!'

'Johnson, I know to err is human but for me to forgive you've got to pay for the tractor.'

"I see you're going in for free range chickens."

'It's not good enough that you are my yes persons, I want you imprinted on me!'

Dairy farmer looking for staff.

B.S.E., Foot and Mouth, CJD....

We need to run some tests

"If you roped your cowhand by mistake, turn to page 21..."

"It's official"..."It's a drought!"

Prize vegetables.

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

baby sweetcorn...

International Women's Day.

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

Humans...What is their purpose?

'The circle is complete!'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"