Farm Fantasy Gifts

'Don't ever try this yourself. It's very easy to put it down the wrong way.'

A Palindrome Cow.

Maternity ward on the farm.

'I can't wait to be shorn of all this wooly symbolism.'

Cow shadows.

"Daddy says he got the promotion: We'll be able to afford to move to greener pastures!"

"Yeah, it's not very good farm land! In this paddock, I wonder if the farmer grows grass or rocks..."

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

'I'm studying the lay of the land..'

'The sty is falling!!'

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

'Get right back out there, young man, and track some mud in!'

Wild Cow.

"Do kids eat free?"

'George, stop playing with the children.'

Money Tree

'They used to be called sheep, and they produced wool. Now they're some sort of bioengineered creatures, and they produce antibiotics.'

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

BOO MOO!

Domestic Animals.

Some genetically engineered pig

"Hundreds of eggs a year, and I've never seen a vet. The Mare has one foal, and it's the Mayo Clinic."

It's an I-O-Ewe.

'Excellent napkin.'

Your life is in great danger...

'They must have really listened to their mothers about chewing their food.'

'What's with my cholesterol problem, Doc - all I eat is grass and grain!'

"Dayum. She bootylicious."

'Was that yours Clarrie, or one of mine?'

"Mine is a dairy farmer: He's up way before dawn every day..."

Cow Sonar

'In factory farms they're fed antibiotics, caffeine, antihistamines and even arsenic. We give them a lot less of the antibiotics, caffeine, antihistamines and arsenic.'

'Erm...I ordered the omlette!'