Farewell Tour Fan Gifts

Elton John says goodbye to the stage.

Do Not Resuscitate

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Our visit to the flan factory.

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

'Let's send her a text message; 'You're FIRED!''

"Yes, but this one is made of Chiclets."

"We end our Newscast with a happy story tonight."

"Goodbye, Cruikshank. We leave you to contemplate the wisdom of messing with big dog!"

'Yeah, he was a good boss, and we'll miss him. Somebody kick his briefcase down there, too.'

Chris Froome

Brilliant suggestion Kimble, to get rid of all the deadwood around here - we'll miss you.

"Just go ahead. It's my last day here and I hate this place."

"Hate to see you leave—you were my favorite puppet."

Cave Paintings Audio Guide

'Well, they're just like your mom's cookies if your mom is a 35 ton, multi-unit dough extruder.'

Your talk of promptness seems to have worked - everybody was out of here by one minute after five.

'As part of our severance package, you're allowed to take three smacks at this blow-up doll of the company CEO.'

Sir Elton John

"Thank you, Sir."

"Harper, we'd like you to become the company fall guy. The position comes with a generous severance package."

"This is Abramson, our new piñata."

Leonard Bernstein

"Look what I found in the garage! My old music speakers!"

"I'm going to mix business with pleasure. You're fired."

"The purpose of the exit interview is to underline that you are fired."

'It's your father. He says he's joining Bob Dylan's never ending tour.'

Didn't we fire you last week?

Tour de France champ Fausto Coppi

Gap Year: Then and Now.

'I'm resigning due to fiscal mismanagement...so my last act as CEO is to give myself a big severance package.'

Bernard Hinault

"Yes we need it back. The team fired you, not Sharky."

"No golden parachute, Johnson. But we do have a lovely parting goody bag."