Farewell Gifts

'I'm resigning due to fiscal mismanagement...so my last act as CEO is to give myself a big severance package.'

'Yeah, he was a good boss, and we'll miss him. Somebody kick his briefcase down there, too.'

"Harper, we'd like you to become the company fall guy. The position comes with a generous severance package."

"This is Abramson, our new piñata."

Flower: 'Frost warning tonight' Second Flower: 'I guess this is goodbye'.

'We're collecting for Charlie. He's leaving because he won the lottery.'

"Your lecture on promptness seems to have worked - they were all out of here bang on five."

'Don't take you dismissal personally Jenkins. I had to fund my bonus somehow.'

Your talk of promptness seems to have worked - everybody was out of here by one minute after five.

Brilliant suggestion Kimble, to get rid of all the deadwood around here - we'll miss you.

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

"We end our Newscast with a happy story tonight."

Bon Voyage!

Didn't we fire you last week?

'The red six (you're fired) on the black seven.'

There's only one way out of this office, Alansky, and your looking at it

Gap Year: Then and Now.

'Let's send her a text message; 'You're FIRED!''

"The purpose of the exit interview is to underline that you are fired."

"Sorry, Barnes, but you threw 6 gutterballs, costing us the corporate bowling tournament. Clean out your desk...you're fired."

"I'm going to mix business with pleasure. You're fired."

"Fired? But I don't even work here!"

"Start spreadin' the news . . . I'm leavin' today . . . "

Loud Quitting

"Well, so long, fellows. I'm off to gay, carefree, exciting Stuyvesant Town."

Do Not Resuscitate

"No golden parachute, Johnson. But we do have a lovely parting goody bag."

"Just go ahead. It's my last day here and I hate this place."

"I fire people this way so they can at least say they went out with a bang."

"Hate to see you leave—you were my favorite puppet."

"Goodbye and have a wonderful day!" "Ugh! Don’t tell me what to do, okay!?!"

"Sorry higgins, there's only room for 1 office joker in this company"

"Good luck out there with the normies and un-bearded ladies!"

Delicate Hopsitality Abused.

"Yes we need it back. The team fired you, not Sharky."