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'Do you honestly expect me to believe that fairy tale?

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

Seagiraffes

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

First Novels.

The Fourth Little Pig

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"Congratulations, Amruk. You prove they do exist."

The tooth fairy.

"Just let her believe in fairies a little while longer."

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

"All I can say is thank goodness for teleconferencing."

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Dragon Hair-dryer.

Saint George and the Drag Queen

Where are they now?: Office of Management & Budget - Grumpy.

Knight feeding his kids.

Piracy on a boating lake

Paranormal A-Z...

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"Have you been playing dice?"

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

The Mouse Princess