Fantasy Humorists Pillows

'Is this irony or coincidence?'

"You're gonna have to walk now. This is starting to feel really gay."

"Sod climbing it - I'm gonna smoke it...!"

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"Here we are."

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

A car's soul escapes as it expires at the meter.

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

Woman's lover turns out to be a rhino

Gone to lunch back in 10 mins.

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

"You didn't seriously think that one does one's own huffing and puffing these days, did you?"

I'm sorry, Dick. I think we should start seeing other demons.

"Has he had all his shots"

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

'Honey, why aren't you destroying your toys?'

'Well, since you put it like that, I suppose we could reduce the price of the property slightly.'

The Mythical Unicorn.

"Yes, eating fish is good for your health, but eating your doctor would not be!"

I thought we agreed, this birdbath was our little secret!

"But wait, there's more."

The Birth of the Easter Bunny.

Born Cynical,,,,

"I'll grant you three startup ideas."

Spermaid - A spermaid waves to a passing sperm.

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

'...You know bestiality is illegal.'

"It's okay. When the moon is full, the only thing I'm slashing are the prices."

'Turn me back into a lovely assistant right now Martin.'

"Full moons were a problem but it's gotten a lot calmer since we installed the doggy door."

'Is THAT it? You call THAT turning into a prince?'

Self-Help Books / Fixing Others.