Fantasy Humorist Pillows

'Remember the Magic Bean Project that we shut down last week?'

"Yes, eating fish is good for your health, but eating your doctor would not be!"

"Alright , Jack - if the green leafy plant you're growin' in your backyard ain't illegal, then explain why you keep callin' these 'magic' beans"

"But wait, there's more."

The Mythical Unicorn.

A car's soul escapes as it expires at the meter.

Eight dwarves become seven. Heart Attacky's just collapsed.

'Forget the giant's treasure - we'll just sell the beans!'

"Full moons were a problem but it's gotten a lot calmer since we installed the doggy door."

"Half mushroom, half plankton!"

"If you're going to be my accountant, you need to know that you'l be dealing with some big numbers."

"... So, let me get this straight. You want to offer your 'goose that lays golden eggs' as collateral on a £250 loan?"

Gone to lunch back in 10 mins.

"The chocolate fudge and whipped cream is okay. But you should have sought planning permission for the giant cherry on the roof!"

'Don't be scared - EVERYBODY knows they only eat PORRIDGE!'

Genetically modified Seafoods.

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'Turn me back into a lovely assistant right now Martin.'

Woman's lover turns out to be a rhino

'Is THAT it? You call THAT turning into a prince?'

United Paradox Service.

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'You jump over candlesticks? -- and from this you make a living?'

'No offense, but this sounds a lot like Obama's campaign promises.

Planet of the whales.

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"I said slime."

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

A bird plays the flute to a cat.

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

'Mayday! Mayday! I'm in the drink!'