Fantasy Humor Pillows

"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."

Cowardly lion put his friends on the curb...

Mermaid revealing her true identity.

'Pay no attention to any silly stories, I've been here two hundred years and never yet seen a monster.'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

"Look! No hands!"

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

A car's soul escapes as it expires at the meter.

Gone to lunch back in 10 mins.

Woman's lover turns out to be a rhino

Tyrannosaurus Tex

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

"I'll have dessert first."

"You didn't seriously think that one does one's own huffing and puffing these days, did you?"

I'm sorry, Dick. I think we should start seeing other demons.

Turkey survivability - 'It's all in being able to put the old fork down and say no.'

When dogs dream...

"Has he had all his shots"

Three Little Pigs in a Cyclone

'He says its a subprime fruit we can have at an adjustable rate, what's the worst that could happen?'

Witch uses broom from broom share program.

'Well, since you put it like that, I suppose we could reduce the price of the property slightly.'

'Honey, why aren't you destroying your toys?'

The Mythical Unicorn.

"But wait, there's more."

"Yes, eating fish is good for your health, but eating your doctor would not be!"

'Is THAT it? You call THAT turning into a prince?'

Spermaid - A spermaid waves to a passing sperm.

'Turn me back into a lovely assistant right now Martin.'

"I'll grant you three startup ideas."

'...You know bestiality is illegal.'