Fantasy Humor Lover Pillows

'New coagulate toothpaste'

"Of course you pay taxes down here. This isn't heaven, you know."

'Honey, why aren't you destroying your toys?'

"Mr. Phoenix, these pills should help you...er...'rise again' but if the effects last more than three hours, you should consult me."

Flying pigs.

'Well, since you put it like that, I suppose we could reduce the price of the property slightly.'

MASSIVE SHOE SALE..!

"Frank! You're snoring again!"

"I think you're intentionally mishearing me. I don't want you to slay the dragon. I want you to spay the dragon."

"Goodbye, Cucuy. You've been a great bogeyman...too bad the kids aren't scared of you anymore. But I found someone who'll be much more effective."

"Bummer. I've never heard of a pixie who's allergic to his own dust."

"I'll grant you three startup ideas."

'Well that solves that mystery. There IS a pot here, but it's not full of gold.'

'Don't try to change me.' (Grumpy princess glaring at a frog.)

Unicorn Needing Viagra

I can recommend a toothpaste to get rid of stains, but I don't know about blood stains.

"Ever wave one of these wands?"

When the Tooth Fairy takes her obsession with teeth a little too far.

'...You know bestiality is illegal.'

"Yes, that's some of our best work!"

Bigfoot's Proctologist: Dr. Bighand.

'Look! New landing gear!'

'Tinkerbell. I'm sorry. It's not you. It's Smee.'

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

It burns when I tinkle.

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

Toadstools

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

'One eye of newt or two?'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

Man retrives a mermaid from his swimming trunks after a swim in the sea