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The Horn Of Extra Square Footage

'I remember when all this was fields.'

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

Turtle Home

"See, that's your problem right there - the roof is mostly sugar."

"I'll take anything that connects to the internet."

'And, it's made from scratch not from a mix.'

'Oh, it's perfect, George! And it has termites, too!'

'I wish I'd listened to Sarah Beeny now.'

"We're interested in a five bath, one bedroom that's on the water."

"Let's see - you might be just right for a little 2-turret, 1 1/2 moat unit I'm renting on West 58th street."

Valentines for Real Estate

Your dream home

'That's the sort of home I've always wanted.'

"We’re ready when you are!"

Whatever you're thinking of buying, we promise to make you feel slightly inferior.

"She doesn't seem to want to tell us why the price is so low."

"This place is perfect. It must have been built for us."

'Not only can we build it for the same price as any other gingerbread house.. but we can do it for 40 LESS CARBS!'

"I'm not casing this house - I'm coveting it."

'I like the property - but I'm rather worried about the sugar content.'

"You are here"

Well, we can't live with my parents - they don't have a basement, either!

"The HOA is bustin' my chops about my paint colors!"

'Not only can we build it for the same price as any gingerbread house, but we can do it for 40% less carbs and no trans fats!'

"Gretel, I don't like living in this culture of fear."

'It's not often they come on to the market.'

"Imagine both the house and the blueprint."

"It's a new decorating magazine called 'In Your Dreams'...homes completely out of our price range filled with stuff we couldn't possibly afford!"

'Now these are humble beginnings I could live with.'

'No, it's not your dream house. It's your wake-up-and-smell-the-coffee house.'

"Does your tree house have secure parking?"

'We'll never own our own cardboard box.'

Buying a house on the Internet.