Fantasy Critics Pillows

'Why is it that there are so many bedtime stories about stupid princes and princesses, but no cool ones about zombies and chainsaws?'

The Fourth Little Pig

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

The tooth fairy.

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"All I can say is thank goodness for teleconferencing."

Dragon Hair-dryer.

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

Lady of the bath...

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

Late BroomStick

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

ET Mishap

More Reasons To Beware Of Dog

Boy and Bear and Monster

"What the hell took so long?"

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

Newt sale

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

Ricky discovers only cartoon cats can fly.

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

"One side is for depression, the other is for anxiety, and if you're still confused make an appointment with the cat."

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

Warrior Woman

"Where the wild things were."

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."