Fantasy Blend Advocate T-Shirts

"And remember, dear, at midnight it turns back into an Uber."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Antler Buzzers.

'How come I always get the shoulder with the parrot?'

"I'm looking for something that says country-but-only-an-hour-and-a-half-drive-from-the-city."

Not The Real Me

Snow White and the Seven Dorks.

'I keep them around for unruly octopi, or giant radioactive spiders... you know, just in case.'

"I knew it, there is an autocorrect demon!"

'This feels a bit strange: Are you really from the Blood Bank?'

'What? When you cross a footballer with a mythical creature? A centaur forward!'

"My trick for enjoying kale? I put in blueberries, a banana, a scoop of vanilla ice cream and ice. Then I throw the kale in the trash and blend."

'It appears to be a side effect of the herbal eye drops you're using.'

'Jennifer's playing with my imaginary friend and she won't let me play with him.'

'If it works, Andy, you can expect a visit from the skin fairy tonight, ready?'

'We can find our way back because I dropped meth-amphetamine tablets along the way.'

"But my real dream is gettin' paid lotsa money for doin' nothin'."

'Yes, we do serve children, but not as meals.'

'Egg toss, I thought this was the water balloon toss?'

"I know about the tooth fairy, but I feel a bit young to be selling off my body parts!"

Man Reaches For The Puree Button On The Elevator

'This is better than magic beans, Jack. It's stock in the company that makes the magic beans.'

Dragon enjoying a drink with knight.

'I like to puree before I crunch the numbers.'

'I don't 'do' chewing!'

Denying Reality Is Bipartisan

'Guess what, Mom - Suzie and I just found out that we have the same ex-Dad!'

'...So it's an orange orange Roughy smoothie?'

Dalek gets up the stairs...

"Your lawyer is a zombie?"

"She's everything you're not."

River Styx...No Fishing

Dentures for Sale (As New) Only Fifteen Virgins.

'You're too late - a bear with a sweet tooth ate me out of house and home.'