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'Tourists bring in money ... and sometimes... Hong Kong flu!"

Columbus Discovers that when Exploring, It's Not Such A Great idea to Bring The Family Along.

"And so another trip comes to an end...with family brought closer together by a shared experience."

"I'm heading north but these days it just seems easier to walk."

'At least, Men point cameras at you these days: In my day, they pointed guns!'

"You finished with your peanuts?"

"So far, my luggage has had a more exciting vacation than I have!"

"I cleaned out the RV. We accumulated a lot stuff since we started RVing..."

Welcome to Yosemite, Hell on Earth!

The aviation experts come out to play

'The Moving Finger Writes; And, Having Writ, Moves On To A Three Week, Twenty City Book Tour.'

'While our cases were soaking up the sun over there we were soaking up the rain over here!'

Tourist Attractions

Tourists

Benefits of Living Abroad

'It's new government policy - we have to include affordable edifices.'

'For the benefit of the passenger who joined the train at Watford Junction, this is the non-stop London to Birmingham High-Speed service.'

'At last! Your boomerang has finally returned.'

'This vacation has just come to a screeching halt - My pocket's just been picked.'

"Where the @!!!$#% are the pigeons?!"

Mrs. Gummidge casts a damp on our departure

'I met a circus acrobat on holiday, two performances a night, and a matinee on Sunday.'

"Ed lives somewhere in the midwest and Jim settled out on the west coast, so I don't see them much anymore."

"They were right. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."

'Have I told you about my experience in Korea?'

Commuting with Sardinetrack - 'Coo, don't they pack us in?'

"Hey, buddy, wouldn't the Grand Canal be faster?"

"...we didn't lose your luggage, we forgot to load it."

"Stop complaining! I told you it would be a long trip, but you insisted on coming!"

'When I asked to go somewhere nice and warm, I didn't mean inside your trendy jumper.'

South Fallsview will not be seen today. Welcome to East Foxboro.

Continue to follow the yellow brick road

'Our romance began with a security pat down at the airport.'

Hitchhiking with monetary incentive

Rudy, you can't meet with the Russians. It'll be a disaster of epic proportions. How so? What could possibly go wrong? There are always unintended consequences with Russia. It was summer of 1988. I was a teenager on a one-man goodwill tour across the Soviet Union. Just me, my Harley and my leather jacket ... that is, until I visited the Kremlin. Let's just say I rode the last few thousand miles of that journey with a beautiful older blonde named Irina clinging to my back. Her father Mikhail was