Fang Club Member Gifts

'But seriously , folks, I know you're out there, I can hear you bleeding!'

Worry tank

"No way. Lando, my friend. Lando." "There's no way Lando Calrissian was a better betrayer than Alex Krycek." "Ask any passerby on the street. 9 out of 10 of them won't even know who Alex Krycek is." "That's utter foolishness. Everyone knows Alex Krycek. He was basically the X-Files' anti-Mulder. He could out-weasel Billy D. Williams any day." "Stop!" "When men start arguing over which fictional character was a better betrayer, they have officially run out of things to talk about." "That Kr

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

"You'll learn a lot at our book club...like how to read between the wines."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

"As a dental hygienist, the first thing I noticed was your smile."

I am your BIGGEST fan!

Men drinking

'It's a deal -- I'll introduce a bill to bail out your country club, and you'll introduce a bill to bail out my country club!'

'My pitcher needs to get fired up by the home crowd. Pass the collection basket.'

Drac, I gotta have a better office if I'm gonna market your Tomato Juice.

A vampire lays in his coffin and he has put his vampire dentures in a glass beside the coffin.

'Wear them on thanksgiving instead.'

'Boy Scouts aren't ANY kind of terrorists!'

'You really should Floss.'

'You have a red belt already?'

'Yeah, you told me you could turn into a bat, but frankly, I'm not that impressed!'

Claudette Melanson

Vampire

"That's right, Mr. Jenkins, we rejected your membership application because you wrote your name on it..."

'Thank God for periodontal disease. '

'It suprises me you want your files organized.

'I read the Club's constitution and then realized I did fit the entry criteria, so I decided to join...'

'He's the only one we could get to be master of ceremonies.'

"Welcome, comadres, to this first meeting of the Very Wise Latina League!"

Although unable to purchase the whole team, Fiona Winklestein puts in a successful bid or Candiens forward Maxim LaPierre on eBay.

How to get boarded first at Montreal's airport...

My latest invention is genius. It's an affinity card for our best customers. That's not a new idea. Airlines, rental car agencies, hotels … They all have loyalty programs where you can earn discounts and special treatment. Spare me. Ours has a way better name: The Cafe Exclusive VIP Premier Executive Best Customer Reward Program. And we don't trouble customers with confusing discounts and benefits. All hail the VIP premier cheapskate.

Time Travellers Club: Back in 1652.

'Did you say, 'Whitened and pointed'?'

Clubhouse No Bitches

"Do you have a reservation?"

Vampire sits beneath a sign that says acupuncture