Fancy Party-goer Gifts

"They call me the king of railroad salvage - 'they' being my wife, actually."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

Sloaney Pony.

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Party Animals.

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

Canape?

Green Balloon

The devil you know and his plus one

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"I am so attracted to you right now."

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

The Streets - Night

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

All dressed up and no place to go

Peel poker.

A man looks up at the earth

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

Masquerade

"Send ME to bed early, will they?"

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Redhead

"Over here, Carol! I've found one with a caramel center!"

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

Carioca