Fan Of Witty Exchanges T-Shirts

"You're a plumber, I'm a doctor. Now that I've given you some free medical advice, how about stepping into my kitchen and fixing my leaky faucet?"

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

'A cheeky red?'

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"Touché"

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

'Talking of of big tops have you seen the new barmaid at the Green Dragon?'

"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure."

Cold caller.

"Remember - you have sharp teeth and claws, but he has sarcasm."

A lesson in wit

The Gilmore Girls

When Stupid People Get an Idea

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"Yeah, I know why you pulled me over. But, c'mon. I'm down to half a pack a day and I'm tryin' to quit."

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

'Nobody goes there any more.' - 'It's too crowded.'

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

Know-it-alls

"O.K., your mouth may be clean but I'll bet your mind is filthy."

"The Loyalty Card program has changed. Management now requires you to get a Loyalty Forehead Tattoo of the bar's logo."

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

'Yeah, but tomorrow I'll be sober, and you'll still be a giraffe!'

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

Home Business - Wife.

"At work, they call me benchmark."

'With Myrna and I, it was love at first slight.'

'I'm having trouble with drinking. . . I'm getting Arthritis in my elbow.'

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"