Fan Of Witty Dialogue T-Shirts

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"Touché"

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

'Mom can I have another apple?'

A lesson in wit

The Gilmore Girls

Cold caller.

When Stupid People Get an Idea

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

"The Loyalty Card program has changed. Management now requires you to get a Loyalty Forehead Tattoo of the bar's logo."

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

'Yeah, but tomorrow I'll be sober, and you'll still be a giraffe!'

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

Home Business - Wife.

'I'm having trouble with drinking. . . I'm getting Arthritis in my elbow.'

"At work, they call me benchmark."

"Kids today are so blasé. Her first word was 'meh' instead of mommy."

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

"It's a book about how to ask for a raise, '50 shades of Pay'."

"Just once, can we not talk about politics."

"Hey, David...what's a five letter noun for someone I couldn't live without...oh yeah, kitty!"

Salmon swimming up-stream, "Don't you get tired of overcoming obstacles"

'You Honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'pretty please with sugar on it.''

"I wouldn't say that you're old, Dear, just way past your 'Best Before' date!"

Cylinder Head

"He damaged a nerve when he pulled the thorn out. I'd have had a surefire malpractice suit if I hadn't eaten him."

"I don't know about turning, but I was tossing all night."

"I came here because my photography work is suffering - everybody on social media says they love my abstract pictures. The problem is, I do landscape pictures."

'You look lovely today.'