Fan Of Humor In Tough Times Gifts

"Your Grandfather's gone to a better place."

A Golden Non-Retriever

Girl in cow onesie.

Birthday To-Do List

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

"My reflexes are not what they used to be: This is how I catch birds now..."

"The Loyalty Card program has changed. Management now requires you to get a Loyalty Forehead Tattoo of the bar's logo."

"Keep an eye on Old Bound Volume of Harpers. He's on the make."

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

Recession tips : think positively, remember the sky is not falling.

Vulture waiting outside a failing business.

'In this economy, I don't say anything without first saying, in this economy...'

'I had a really bad day at work! . . . I was expecting it to be utterly horrific. . . but in the end it was just really bad. . . My cracked glass is half full!'

Bankruptcy court

"If you can't sleep, try playing some relaxing human noises."

'Well, Mr. Hefner. Here we are. Hope you're not disappointed.'

'Have you read about the millionaire who dresses like a hobo and gives money to those who are kind to him?'

Knight Light

"No son, they're not ants, they're poor people."

Cloud quartet

Toady of the Month.

'What matter an inch or two of surface-water, if the ice be still sound undernaeth!'

'Thanks but we really can't accept...'

"No, John. You know I'll only end up hurting you."

"I may be getting older, but my mind is still as sharp as a...umm...one of those little pointy things!"

"The doctor accepts cash or check, but considering the economy, he prefers your gold fillings."

'How did Mary-Lou like her first motorcycle ride?'

"Thanks to the state of the economy, business has never been better."

"Marvin is in the group who has given up trying to find work...and that was before the recession!"

'I'm not coldhearted I'm just cold and I'm leaving you for someone with a furnace.'

'...and to all those who weren't watching.'