Fan Of Humor In Tough Times Gifts

"Your Grandfather's gone to a better place."

A Golden Non-Retriever

Girl in cow onesie.

Birthday To-Do List

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

Friday The 13th, The Final Chapter.

"My reflexes are not what they used to be: This is how I catch birds now..."

"Keep an eye on Old Bound Volume of Harpers. He's on the make."

"The Loyalty Card program has changed. Management now requires you to get a Loyalty Forehead Tattoo of the bar's logo."

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

Recession tips : think positively, remember the sky is not falling.

'In this economy, I don't say anything without first saying, in this economy...'

Vulture waiting outside a failing business.

We couldn't help but notice, Mary, that you got a new fleece, and it's white as snow.

'Perhaps I should clarify. When I told you to drink plenty of fluids...'

Bankruptcy court

"If you can't sleep, try playing some relaxing human noises."

'I had a really bad day at work! . . . I was expecting it to be utterly horrific. . . but in the end it was just really bad. . . My cracked glass is half full!'

Jimmy Carr

Toady of the Month.

'Thanks but we really can't accept...'

'What matter an inch or two of surface-water, if the ice be still sound undernaeth!'

"No son, they're not ants, they're poor people."

'Well, Mr. Hefner. Here we are. Hope you're not disappointed.'

Cloud quartet

'Have you read about the millionaire who dresses like a hobo and gives money to those who are kind to him?'

Knight Light

'Yeah, I've been lucky. My business is pretty darned recession-proof.'

"No, John. You know I'll only end up hurting you."

"The doctor accepts cash or check, but considering the economy, he prefers your gold fillings."

'How did Mary-Lou like her first motorcycle ride?'

"I may be getting older, but my mind is still as sharp as a...umm...one of those little pointy things!"

'On a global scale, women tend to migrate rather from east to west...or like birds do, from north to south...'

"Thanks to the state of the economy, business has never been better."

"Marvin is in the group who has given up trying to find work...and that was before the recession!"