Fan Of Detective Novels T-Shirts

'Get him out of my sight.' 'SEE? THIS IS WHY I DON'T CONFIDE IN YOU MORE OFTEN!'

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

Sherlock Holmes with a magnifying glass.

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

Crime in bookshop

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

Oliver Twist - Oliver Introduced to Fagin

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

"Oh come on! How can you possibly know that it's Yorick without a proper forensic reconstruction?"

A spy

Stand and Deliver

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

Burglar escapes from tower using Rapunzel's hair.

'I can't understand how those burglars could clean out our house so quietly.'

Crime Writer's Society.

'Have you got any good 'whodunnits'...?'

"Why are you always picking people who have pixellated heads?"

'It's Yorick all right - I know his DNA well.'

"Check this wall for fingerprints."

"Any clues?"

"Generally accepted accounting practices weren't as generally accepted as I thought."

'I'm a simple man really beneath the code words and the black ops and the multitude of fake passports.'

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

"The butler did it!"

Two books from the crime passionel section in a library having sex

"We have ways of making you talk."

A detective selling a copy of Sherlock Holmes.

"And what do you see in this inkblot?"

'It wasn't me - but I'm sure whoever did it had a good reason. Looks, charm and 10 aliases only get you so far.'