Family With Young Children Mugs

Dog with a dummy.

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"And this is our son Danny's room. Danny is being raised by wolves."

"I told you not to touch it. I should've used your language and told you not to click on it."

A father comes home from work and is given a baby.

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."

Dad Planet: 'Hey you KIDS! I thought i said no ORBITING in the house!'

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

'Quick! Look cute!'

Excess Baggage: The younger the traveler, the greater the amount of luggage required.

Early Night Club

'He's a son-of-a-bitch but he's our son-of-a-bitch!'

"We couldn't find a sitter."

Reality of Parenthood

Kangaroo wearing a hoodie with a pouch.

"I'm going to need a pediatrician, two vets and an ornithologist."

'We actually meant to order a baby monitor, but he was so cute we just had to keep him.'

"A five, six, seven, eight, Mooooom!"

Childhood's End

"Our max is six M&Ms for poop on the potty but try to hold her to three."

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

Wet Wipes: My Guilty Secret

Scooting Death

A dog is for life, not just for Covid.

"It's too hot to strive for autonomy."

"Awww....someone's done a pooping in their pants. How cute?"

MEN, WOMEN, 'What are KIDS supposed to do?'

"Your turn to put them to bed."

"Yea, I know, so cute, but such a pain until they're windshield trained!"

"Isn't it nice? The kid drew it for me."

'Eat my vegetables? - I thought we were supposed to be predators!'

Doggy $100 and don't ask again.

'I told him that you said people should share things with the less fortunate!'