Families With Young Kids Mugs

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

Toddler Feeding Solutions

"And this is our son Danny's room. Danny is being raised by wolves."

"I told you not to touch it. I should've used your language and told you not to click on it."

Pinata good bags.

A father comes home from work and is given a baby.

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."

Dad Planet: 'Hey you KIDS! I thought i said no ORBITING in the house!'

Early Night Club

"I know he's little, but he uses it."

'Quick! Look cute!'

Kindergarten Primary School Teacher

'He's a son-of-a-bitch but he's our son-of-a-bitch!'

Excess Baggage: The younger the traveler, the greater the amount of luggage required.

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

Baby eating "Uploading", Baby on toilet "Downloading"

"We couldn't find a sitter."

Kangaroo wearing a hoodie with a pouch.

"A five, six, seven, eight, Mooooom!"

'We actually meant to order a baby monitor, but he was so cute we just had to keep him.'

Reality of Parenthood

"I'm going to need a pediatrician, two vets and an ornithologist."

'We lease the children, of course!'

"Our max is six M&Ms for poop on the potty but try to hold her to three."

Childhood's End

Scooting Death

A dog is for life, not just for Covid.

"It's too hot to strive for autonomy."

MEN, WOMEN, 'What are KIDS supposed to do?'

Doggy $100 and don't ask again.