Family Wellness Enthusiast Gifts

"I should have bought toys with better posture."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

I love my family!

"I think you put too much healthy food in our smart refrigerator. It's about to spit it all out."

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"

"I'm so good at this!"

"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"

It's a Boy

Mother's Love

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

Woman forcing family to hike through hills.

'I think babies grow in a mommy's tummy and adopted babies grow in a mommy's heart.'

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

'They're a very successful family.'

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

"I think it's time we learned to stand up for our selves."

"My approach is nontraditional, but from a uniquely Western perspective."

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

'Oops! It says administer at bedtime. Guess that makes it bedtime.'

'You can't start them exercising too early.'

"It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother."

"I read the audio book."

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction