Family Tales T-Shirts

"Back in my day, we wore masks, stayed six feet apart, and lived for the moments in between panic attacks."

"This was Freddy, the neighbor boy. He went to jail for something he didn't do. He didn't wipe his fingerprints off the safe."

"Feel free to take notes."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

True confessions.

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

The Family Joules: Part 21

Super-Tia makes Mal de Ojo undo its curse!

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

Children's Party

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'Riley, I think it's time you learned the truth... You're adopted.'

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

'You were a band geek?! Maybe Max will play an instrument!'

"But our history was current events when you were at school Dad!"

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

"Well, I assume the three bears went in the woods like all bears do. May I continue?"

'It is a big day! Ten years ago, yout dad joined the union!'

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"See those birch trees on the other side of the pond? That’s the exact spot where your mother first called me an idiot."

Wyatt returns home to visit his old small town.

"Grandpa, how did you ever survive without apps?"

'...And another thing, I am not your best friend, thats just an old wives' tale.'

'If I want to live happily ever after, grandma, do I have to marry a princess?'

Brilliance runs in my family, but in a zig-zag pattern.

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."