Family Tales T-Shirts

"Back in my day, we wore masks, stayed six feet apart, and lived for the moments in between panic attacks."

"This was Freddy, the neighbor boy. He went to jail for something he didn't do. He didn't wipe his fingerprints off the safe."

"Feel free to take notes."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

True confessions.

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

Super-Tia makes Mal de Ojo undo its curse!

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

Children's Party

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

'Riley, I think it's time you learned the truth... You're adopted.'

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

'You were a band geek?! Maybe Max will play an instrument!'

"See those birch trees on the other side of the pond? That’s the exact spot where your mother first called me an idiot."

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

Wyatt returns home to visit his old small town.

"Grandpa, how did you ever survive without apps?"

'It is a big day! Ten years ago, yout dad joined the union!'

"But our history was current events when you were at school Dad!"

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

'If I want to live happily ever after, grandma, do I have to marry a princess?'

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

'It's a horror-comedy.'