Family Secrets Explorer T-Shirts

"Yes, Henry, you were adopted."

'Ahhh...'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

OOG & SONS HUNTING & GATHERING

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

'He's got your nose.'

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

'There's something I never told you about your father, Billy. He was a lawyer.'

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

"If you really loved me you wouldn't have called me Euthanasia!"

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

"I like to think that each generation will need a little less therapy than the generation before."

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

"My dad was really good at showing me how to throw poo. He was just never any good at explaining exactly why I should be throwing it."

"All Vangundy is or ever shall be he owes to his mother."

'Periodic table and avoirdupois weight of the Mendeleev family'

The dna double helix, with a human family taking the place of the dna rungs (or bases), illustrating genetic inheritance within the family

'Dad, have you ever thought about researching our family tree?'

'Nuts, nuts, nothing but nuts!' When Squirrels Search Their Family Trees.

"I didn't hear the full story, but you came from either the stork or ebay."

'There's no stigma in being brought up by apes - I was an adopted child too.'

How were the academic departments on the campuses you visited? Dad!!! Stop stressing me!! College hunting is hard enough without you prying into every detail of my life! Arrghh!! How were the drama departments?

"It's half past November, young man! Get back in your room and hibernate!"

'Mom! Hunter keeps saying I'm not a thoroughbred. Can you show him my papers?'

'It's time you knew, Son -- you were abandoned here as a child by aliens.'

"How do you like our new smart water hose? It knows when you're dirty and hoses you off before you come into the house."

"Seven hundred wives? I'll bet he had a lot of inlaw problems?"

Are we going to raise her as a cat person or a dog person?

It's time you know the truth about your father.

"Are you too old to remember all the advice you tried to give me when I was too young to care?"

'I suppose a loan to send them to summer camp could be called a home improvement loan.'

"The apes accepted you, but my sister's a whole other story."