Revealing Family Secrets T-Shirts

'It's time you knew, Son -- you were abandoned here as a child by aliens.'

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

True confessions.

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

The Family Joules: Part 21

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

Children's Party

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

'Riley, I think it's time you learned the truth... You're adopted.'

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

'You were a band geek?! Maybe Max will play an instrument!'

'There's something I never told you about your father, Billy. He was a lawyer.'

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

"See those birch trees on the other side of the pond? That’s the exact spot where your mother first called me an idiot."

"Grandpa, how did you ever survive without apps?"

'It is a big day! Ten years ago, yout dad joined the union!'

"But our history was current events when you were at school Dad!"

Wyatt returns home to visit his old small town.

"Well, I assume the three bears went in the woods like all bears do. May I continue?"

"Oh I remember, it was a particularly cold day and your daddy whispered sweet nothings in my ear. It gave me such a warm feeling inside that I knew he was the one!"

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."

'If I want to live happily ever after, grandma, do I have to marry a princess?'

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

'It's a horror-comedy.'

Brilliance runs in my family, but in a zig-zag pattern.

Scenes from a Vacation

"I'll give you a cookie if you promise to paint me as a pillar among women in your future memoir."

"Before we begin, I think you should all know that I once smoked a reefer in 1935."

"So, Gramps, did you fight the World War on Nintendo or Playstation?"

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"

'I know I'm your father, but I'm also your attorney and these father-son talks are considered billable hours.'