Family Secrets Enthusiast Pillows

'Mom, dad, it's time for me to know the truth. . . was I adapted?'

'There's something I never told you about your father, Billy. He was a lawyer.'

"One day you can participate in Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day as a parent."

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

"The Flying Wallendas at home"

Alvin, genealogist extraordinaire, traces his roots back to the first amoeba.

'I've turned into my mother.'

"...then click 'save settings', scroll down to 'done' and voila! You're on Facebook stalking Miriam's daughter's new husband."

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

Watergate is just the tip of the iceberg phobia. 'I have here secret government documents that describe the events leading up to Custer's Last Stand.'

'It's time you knew, Son -- you were abandoned here as a child by aliens.'

"Mum, just curious: when you did the family tree, did you research all the way back to our ancestors on Noah's ark?"

"Mom, Dad – I’d like you to meet Edna."

"That's your uncle Colin. He's the black sheep of the family."

'Sparky's amazing ability to speak to humans betrays him...'

Boris Johnson related to Mummy

"Baldo, let everyone know that Tia Carmen is in the hospital!"

'The first one didn't work. I need another goodnight kiss.'

Boys watching a christening

"If you have a boyfriend, I have some advice, young lady! Wisdom that's been handed down from generation to generation!"

'Now you're older, we think it's time you knew that both your father and I and you are adopted.'

"Goodbye Sweetheart. No matter where you go in this life, or what you do, always remember that you signed an N.D.A. with us."

"And that's how great grandma braided her fish."

"...brisket ...recipe. Hide it."

"She has her father's eyes!"

'We've traced you back to the cartoonist who drew you.'

'I swear, everyday you get a little bit more like your father's, father's, father's, father's, father's, father.'

"My kids understand me. I've offered them the same disadvantages I grew up with."

'Mum,are we born from an egg?' 'No honey. People bring us at night'

"And this was the man I thought was your father until E-Z Pass records proved that he was in New Jersey when you were conceived."

A chip off the old block

"Yes, Henry, you were adopted."

"But, Paw, I don't eat eggs or bacon anymore."