Family Secret Pillows

'There's something I never told you about your father, Billy. He was a lawyer.'

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

'Where's the elephant cemetery? It's a secret, and anyway, you'd be the last person I'd tell!'

Secret sweetie drawer...

"Here's a buck, kid... Don't tell your mom I snuck out of my retirement home!"

"I've got something to tell you,Dad-I don't like fish...I mean I REALLY don't like fish...I HATE fish,Dad-there,I've said it now."

"...then click 'save settings', scroll down to 'done' and voila! You're on Facebook stalking Miriam's daughter's new husband."

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

'I don't know what's going on, but wipe that look of restrained jubilation off your face!'

"It's good to see that... ...Tia Carmen teaching Gracie valuable family traditions passed down through the generations."

"No, I thought YOU put the picnic basket in the car."

"I'm pretty sure your grandma's secret apple pie recipe is not considered an unauthorized classified document."

'Are you on any medication other than your Grandma's chicken soup?'

'It's time you knew, Son -- you were abandoned here as a child by aliens.'

'Darling... I think we're being watched!'

"Jack'z the bestess friend. My wife still doesn't know where we'were that night..." Why we toast before we start drinking.

Watergate is just the tip of the iceberg phobia. 'I have here secret government documents that describe the events leading up to Custer's Last Stand.'

Harold's suspicions are finally confirmed - 'Son, you're adopted!'

'What do you mean, you don't want to dry grapes in the sun for dessert wines, like your father? He's a big success--and only 32!'

'They transferred me from catering because I kept spilling the beans.'

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

'Promise me that this won't go any further?'

"Thank you for coming with me. This is a sacred family tradition."

Awkward Moments

'Daddy doesn't know why birds migrate. Ask me about ways to avoid probate.'

'Let's not mention this to the fellas at the office, okay, Hal?'

"Psst. Can you keep a secret?"

"D'ya wanna hear a secret? Well, keep it under your wrappings. . ."

'Sparky's amazing ability to speak to humans betrays him...'

"Mum, stop it, this isn't reality T.V.!" "Shh or I'll vote you out."

"It's an amazing snowman darling. I see you've given him Mummys hat, Daddies gloves....and Grandpa's walking stick."

"Son, the reason you're not happy like me is because your real father was an oyster.'