Family Ritualist T-Shirts

"Dad, can we have a bedtime narrative?"

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 3- Street Lamps Lighting a Lady's Toilet Mirror

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

Loofah Lady

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

"I couldn't have made my family recipe raisin date nut cake with it's secret ingredient without Jimmy's help."

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

Tyler missed the old days before his parents used behavioral tracking software.

'I'm so glad this bedtime story comes in audio.'

"It was our grandmother's wedding dress—we had her exhumed so you could wear it."

Lore and legend of the Pennypackers

'Are you on any medication other than your Grandma's chicken soup?'

"You forgot this! You never go anywhere without wearing lipstick."

"Say the whole prayer, none of this et cetera, et cetera..."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Ganges

Do you kneel to pray in church? No, we stand up for our rites.

The Nargleys perform their post-holiday ritual of trying to blow all the needles off the tree in one breath,

"When I moved here after your mother passed... The first thing I did was make this altar...so I could pray for her. But your father said, 'Just no photos.'"

"I can tell you that's not the version of Uncle Sam that I grew up with."

'I just joined the Freemasons and I'm afraid you're our next sacrifice..'

"It's not fair, mum. He just waits for me to finish, and then just says 'Ditto'."

Lord Summerisle was a Big Jacko fan...

"I found my great aunt Irma's delicioso roast turkey recipe!"

"You've all abstained for at least one hour from any food and drink, except for water and medicine, right?"

"most of you have met Higgins. He'll be helping us prepare for the upcoming audit."

'It's my first Thanksgiving!'