Family Ritual Enthusiast T-Shirts

"It's not fair, mum. He just waits for me to finish, and then just says 'Ditto'."

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

"Dad, can we have a bedtime narrative?"

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

"Tomorrow will be mainly sunny, but with some scattered showers..."

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

"One day you can participate in Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day as a parent."

"I couldn't have made my family recipe raisin date nut cake with it's secret ingredient without Jimmy's help."

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"

"The Flying Wallendas at home"

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

Tyler missed the old days before his parents used behavioral tracking software.

'I'm so glad this bedtime story comes in audio.'

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

"It was our grandmother's wedding dress—we had her exhumed so you could wear it."

Lore and legend of the Pennypackers

'Are you on any medication other than your Grandma's chicken soup?'

"Say the whole prayer, none of this et cetera, et cetera..."

"When I moved here after your mother passed... The first thing I did was make this altar...so I could pray for her. But your father said, 'Just no photos.'"

"Mom, Dad – I’d like you to meet Edna."

Stonehenge Bowling

Do you kneel to pray in church? No, we stand up for our rites.

Christening

"I can tell you that's not the version of Uncle Sam that I grew up with."

'I just joined the Freemasons and I'm afraid you're our next sacrifice..'

"You've all abstained for at least one hour from any food and drink, except for water and medicine, right?"

"Son, once your grandma wore these shoes. I wore them after her, and now I will give them to you because I think they fit your dresses perfectly."

"Mom does this for everyone's birthday, if you don't applaud, no dessert for a week."

"I found my great aunt Irma's delicioso roast turkey recipe!"

Lord Summerisle was a Big Jacko fan...

"Dr. Rheinschreiber never does an appendectomy without music and dancing."

'The first one didn't work. I need another goodnight kiss.'