Family Humor Seekers Gifts

"So when you are at work, you never get recess? How sad."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

Suffering from Cooties?

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

Dad Trophies

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

"Okay, you scared the babysitter...now get back in there and rinse off that toothpaste, and go to bed!"

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

'I have a limited vocabulary because I'm a child, what's your excuse?'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

"You can't make me eat Brussel sprouts Mum: it's illegal to force-feed geese in this country!"

"No thanks, mom. I don't think I'll have any broccoli short cake."

Woman telling her husband not to swear in front of the baby.

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

'Another balloon animal? And who do you think ends up taking care of these?'