Family Hero Appreciator Pillows

"OK, class, for Hispanic Heritage Month, I want you draw a Latino hero."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

celebrating a birth.

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

Miracle Mom #5,293

"Why, Mr. Larsen! We were about ready to give up on you."

Look on the bright side...they'll probably name a disease after you.

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

"Bah! in my day bands knew how to play their computers properly. Like Kraftwerk"

"Yeah, the medals are nice, but this is what I'm most proud of!"

Dad's home

"Mom...There's nothing to do..."

"Look, Mommy. Puppy already knows a trick! What should we call him?" "How about 'Scooter.'"

"Kosovo, Iraq, Afghanistan...Sarge Higgins is one hell of a tough guy! But he wouldn't have a chance against my mom - she raised three kids!"

Coronavirus

'I've been disrespectful again, Dad.'

'I already had one bath today! You want my skin to wear out?'

Thank You to Vaccinators

"I just want you to known. . .No matter what happens. . . I'll always love you Betty."

'Any chance of getting a financial advance on my loose tooth?'

Three shots - one franc.

"I can't believe Tia Carmen is working in our cafeteria! This bites! How can she do this to me?"

Plastidad

"Mom, Dad, am I adopted?"

'In a surprise move today, the Kennedy family applied for statehood.'

"I married a girl with two mums and ended up with two mothers-in-law."

"Nothing like taking a few weeks off to spend time with the kids Eh!"

'Don't bother your father. Let him enjoy his Father's Day.'

"And when it comes to looking after mum, Maureen's always happy to lend her support."

"Gosh grandma, you must be over a million in dog years!"

Little Known Superheroes:'Open-jar man', 'Get keys out of a locked car guy', 'Captain reach it for you' and 'Smell this to see if its going bad guy'.

Fear

'My father and mother never argue. My father doesn't live here.'

'Well, my Dad doesn't care how big you are, Mr. Jones. He'll still knock your block off!'