Family Funnies Gifts

'This mandarin chicken is delicious, Dad. It tastes like you bought it yourself.'

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

The Family Joules: Part 5

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"I finally cleaned my room. You don't think she'll look in the yard, do you?"

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

'Ready Mum?'

"Ah...here they are!"

Your Message on Your T-Shirt: 'Do As You Are Told!'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

Mr. Blok goes bowling.

Climbing with the baby

'Dewey, come look! This is so cute. The kids are playing wii hockey.'

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

'Dad won't buy me a puppy, so I'm teaching him to bark!'

"Two boys from legal to see you."

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

'Don't bite it. I have to check Daddy next.'

"Mom! Dad! Do something!"

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

'The puppy just downloaded on your computer keyboard.'

Skateboard

'Another balloon animal? And who do you think ends up taking care of these?'

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

"Bad news, Dad—you're brain-dead!"

'Look. A mom with a handy carrying case.'