Family Fun Pillows

'You know what they say. . . 'If your dog is fat - you aren't getting enough exercise.''

"Bad news, Dad—you're brain-dead!"

"I see your mom really gets into April Fools Day."

"Have you seen my bowling ball?"

'No. This isn't my new sparring partner - this is my mother!'

"I wanted to see if it made a picture."

Flying the kite in strong winds

"Well, you said your glasses needed cleaning!"

Gotcha Dad!

'I rode Rover in so I wouldn't track up the floor.'

'What are you buying me for Christmas, Dad?'

'Great! Now do behind my ears!'

Skateboard

'If we're going to make this one look like Daddy, we'll need a bigger carrot.'

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

"I told you not to bump your sister so hard"

"Gracie, please don't eat me. I...want to...live."

"All I have to say is that someone better be bleeding."

Father Gander

"I'm the mommy and he's the daddy and Teddy is the #@&&!# kid who keeps us from having time to do anything!"

"Ah...here they are!"

"Happy Birthday son."

"Good news, Dad. Remember when you said you'd give me $50 if I got an 'A' on my algebra test?"

'...which proves my thesis that what they think is adorable in musicals gets you grounded in real life.'

"Where'd you find it, dad?"

'Every time one of my grandkids pulls my finger, I break wind.'

'So; come up with any bright remarks lately?'

"Don't worry, I'll make sure she sees it"

Old man stealing sand from a sand box for child

'Hey, Max... Want me to show you how to make water balloons?'

Mr. Blok goes bowling.

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'You're lucky you're too old to be grounded, Dad.'

Domestic Harmony.

'Watch out for my little brother -- he's clothing-optional.'