Family-focused Professionals Pillows

'Management are very keen to introduce family friendly policies...we're very keen on helping staff balance or with family commitments.'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"Come on, we've thought of 492 names surely we can get one more"

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

"Mommy is having another baby. Let me assure you that any paradigm shift will be incremental, core values remain family-centric, and Mommy is committed to assimilation and building synergy."

'My mom says we're expecting a house guest for 18 years.'

"Your daughter called—you promised to play phone tag with her today."

"Sir, the platoon suffered heavy casualties from a roadside IUD."

"We're having a problem naming him. All the domain names we like are already taken!"

"Please continue as a lab rat, we have five mouths to feed!"

HappyHouse Daycare. Family-owned & family-run since this many (fingers showing a count of seven) years.

Proud Mum.

"I've spent so much time with my family that I've started to lose sight of what really matters."

"Another problem is that I haven't had dinner with my family for a week."

"Let me tell you what it's like to be seven in this city."

Old School Call Forwarding

"I don’t care if your daughter gave it to you for Father’s Day, Glen – get rid of it."

'Just a minute while your father figures this out.'

"Marry you? This is so sudden, I don't know what to say!"

'These figures on parental leave are truly shocking...'

'Okay, Mum said no, but if we can get to Dad before she has time to brief him, we could still turn this into a yes.'

"Last, but not least, give my child a seat by the window so I can see her on my drone camera."

'Typical family rubbish bin if you ask me: No chips, no chocolate, but lots of discarded vegetables...'

I Wooden Be Anything Without You

'We tried solar, we tried wind, and now we have a little nuclear reactor out back.'

"You should never be embarrased to ask for help, Grandpa."

Interview panel - '...and what makes you the best member of my family for this job?'

"Our family. We ran out of room years ago."

Angry White Males.

"So...what do you think of babies?"

"I thought we had the sort of relationship where 'please' and 'thank you' were implicit."

"I've always been driven to succeed. Usually by my mom."

"Yes, we're osbourne rich, but, no, we're not Olsen twin rich."

'There are serious disadvantages to having children...they grow up!'