Family-focused Fellow Pillows

"Another problem is that I haven't had dinner with my family for a week."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

Balloon Kids

"Come on, we've thought of 492 names surely we can get one more"

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

'My mom says we're expecting a house guest for 18 years.'

"Your daughter called—you promised to play phone tag with her today."

Future Micro MGR.

"Please continue as a lab rat, we have five mouths to feed!"

Proud Mum.

"I've spent so much time with my family that I've started to lose sight of what really matters."

"Let me tell you what it's like to be seven in this city."

Old School Call Forwarding

"I don’t care if your daughter gave it to you for Father’s Day, Glen – get rid of it."

'These figures on parental leave are truly shocking...'

"Marry you? This is so sudden, I don't know what to say!"

It's a beautiful thing, watching your children grow into mature, responsible adults...

'Just a minute while your father figures this out.'

"Last, but not least, give my child a seat by the window so I can see her on my drone camera."

I Wooden Be Anything Without You

"After I stopped telling the kids vegetables were good for them, they started eating them."

"You'll have to listen to Gramps tell you about how tough it was when he was a kid...but then he'll give you the dollar anyway!"

'Typical family rubbish bin if you ask me: No chips, no chocolate, but lots of discarded vegetables...'

'Management are very keen to introduce family friendly policies...we're very keen on helping staff balance or with family commitments.'

'I thought I'd have one more look at the old room before I leave for college.'

'We tried solar, we tried wind, and now we have a little nuclear reactor out back.'

"Our family. We ran out of room years ago."

Interview panel - '...and what makes you the best member of my family for this job?'

"So...what do you think of babies?"

"I need to cut back on work and spend more time with the children. . . how many do we have?"

Angry White Males.