Family First Advocate T-Shirts

"It's the old man's idea. Reckons his young executives should see more of their families."

Personnel: 'I promised Mom I'd call her when I got here safely - do you mind?'

'Here's a photo of me, my wife, my bulldozer and my banker. This one's just me and my wife.'

'The good news is that I can spend more time with my family. The bad news is my job is now only part time.'

'I know you've gotten attached to him, Bobby, I have too, but the man at the door is from his firm and needs him back.'

"I'm not going to work late tonight, so I can normalize relations with my family!"

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'I think it's about time we tell him he's adopted.'

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

Reasonableman

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

"How is it gendered?"

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

"Here comes the super-visor."

"It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother."

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

"The emotional support goes both ways."

"Your daughter called—you promised to play phone tag with her today."

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

'In the few remaining minutes of the lesson I can't do better than to show you how to fill an accident form.'

'I know we hadn't planned on getting a bigger car until we had kids, but I think we need one now to accommodate the bumper-stickers.'

"Now just hold on a minute, fellers. This thing doesn't look to be very safe at all."

Barber has strapped boy in barber chair with a safety belt.

'I'm on beach-patrol today: It's sunscreen in there...'

'Next time you lose your keys, please call a locksmith instead of blowtorching the door.'

'It's a grueling job that requires a strong commitment and personal sacrifice. Is your mother available?'

Man wearing bullet proof vest to protect himself against pool players

'Doug and I have agreed to stay together until the children and his hedge fund are grown.'

"This may surprise you, Worthington, but I'm a man who believes that nothing in life is as important as family."