Family Exchanger Gifts

'Hello. I'm Willy. Tommy and I have exchanged homes.'

Lady of the Cake.

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

A family with mustaches talking on their cellphones.

Oh, no

"I've been listening to your podcast. And though I agree with your opinion on deforestation and global warming, I strongly disagree with your claim that I overcook my pasta."

"I now pronounce you man and wife - do you wish to save these changes?"

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

Sculptor making a statue to hug.

"I'm going to need more minutes. I'm texting for two now!"

"You know, we've given this same bottle back and forth to each other for so long that it's probably pretty good by now."

The Tobin Tax.

Coronovirus dreams

"Moses, it's your mother. It's the only way I could get hold of you. You never call."

So this is what civilization has come to at the dawn of the new millennium. Impressive, huh? What are you looking at? Nothing mother! Sigh! How come you get along better with my child than I do? We trade. She shows me all the crucial elements of pop culture. And I show her ... A life without Lady Gaga is still worth living! Phizzz.

'I'm coping.'

"Thinking of buying a larger property are we, Madam?"

"No need to Whatsapp me dear, I'm right here."

"Hello mother. . ."

'Now you call? Now that fierce competition has reduced long-distance to little more than a cheap, unprofitable commodity. Now you call your mother?'

'I would like to have a little talk with both of you!'

Free Little Library

How's the college tour? Dunno. Tap Tap. You'd have 2 ask the parents. Tap tap.

My flesh and blood � watching a reality tv show. Welcome to America, mom. This country is hopelessly divided. Now, now. The gulf between me and you gardening addicts isn't that big! The gulf between reality tv fans and sane people is. Sanity. So overrated.

December 26th . . . The Returns

'I'm doing a 'pet swap'.'

'I speak six languages fluently but I don't understand my teenager daughter.'

"I'll just text the children upstairs that dinner is ready."

'I retired from politics to spend more time with my family, and they didn't RECOGNIZE me.'

'Ere Mabel, know anything about agreeing to a home swop?'

I've had "health," ok, dad? I know what "you know what" can lead to. STDs. AIDs. Emotional scars that can take years to heal. Umm�Anything else. What else is there?

Lil' Free Library/Skert-Skert

'He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites.

Mail Yourself a Card.

'You said you wanted to talk to me about sex, Dad - what actually do you want to know?'