Home Exchange Gifts

'Ere Mabel, know anything about agreeing to a home swop?'

Lady of the Cake.

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

US dollar rising and falling.

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

Fluffy's first and last day as an exchange student.

"You know, we've given this same bottle back and forth to each other for so long that it's probably pretty good by now."

The Tobin Tax.

"Who had pink eyes, long ears, a cute little cotton tail and brings baskets of eggs on Easter morning?"

Another thing is that it's really cool in the summer!

"Tarzan didn't want to downsize, but he took an early retirement – and then Jane got the axe."

'Now before you get all upset, I got ten percent above market value.'

'My brother is going to stay with a family in France, and a French boy is coming to stay with us. Did you know your parents could exchange you?'

A teacher introduces the new student to the class - he's an alien - 'Good evening class, this is Zork and he will be joining us until he learns enough English to conquer the Earth...'

'If it was mine, I'd put it up for sale, invest the proceeds, and get myself a nice little condo.'

Mythical lake forest.

"People who live in glass houses are rare."

Free Little Library

"I thought you said it was a turn-key house!"

'It's not my fault sales are down. The economy has made buyers homeophobic.'

The final secret-santa gift exchange between the Greeks and the Trojans.

'I flatly refuse to give him fringe benefits before dinner!'

December 26th . . . The Returns

'I'm doing a 'pet swap'.'

Santa Claus

"This is so much better than book club."

We're a host family for Joey's exchange program.

'At least we have a roof over our heads.'

'Let's see, you folks need to sell your home before you buy a new one. How about waiting in the lobby for 2 or 3 years.'

Two Christmas Stockings - One for Presents, One for Receipts

"And here's the basement – or as I see it, the poor man's French Riviera."

Lil' Free Library/Skert-Skert

You know you can't return it. Mother had a GPS microchip sewn into the lining.

Woman asks guests: Before you sit down, would you like the grand tour?'