Family Entertainer Gifts

'Please turn it down - Daddy is trying to do your homework.'

Father's Day Toilet Card

'So all six of your kids got you the same thing for Father's day?'

"This one is perfect for Thanksgiving. It comes prestained in cranberry sauce, gravy and pumpkin pie."

"For your birthday, I got you a food processor!"

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

'I thought we were going to the zoo too, but look at that red blob there...doesn't it look like a bird? Or a cow?'

"A funny thing happened at work today."

"Granddad's been jingling coins in his pocket all night. I can't wait to check beneath his cushion."

'That's right kids: I jumped through rings of fire when I was with the Circus!'

'How did it go at the track today, dear?'

'I'm not sure if he plays that loud because he has a good set of lungs or if it's a mean streak in him.'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Home theatre.

A man plays a grand piano

'Watch this! Open up a straw by scrunching up its wrapper! Now put a drop of water on that wrinkly paper tube! Check it out! It wiggles and grows!'

Children use their dad as a seesaw base.

Summer holiday activities the whole family will love.

A family choir

A family trying to make a child smile for a photo

Any idea how long your family might be visiting?

Maybe it's time you stopped carrying her, now that she has kids of her own.

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

A Guide to Balloon Animals

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.