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Skinny sour-faced twins scowling at each other.

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Out damn Spot

Senta jumps into the sea

"My wife thought the phrase 'stick it to the man' meant everyone, hence we're divorced. My new girlfriend and I met at a party. She's krazy, man. We bonded right away and now she's pregnant. It's a squeeze top. My brother's in rehab for sniffing. He never could get his nose out of my business."

Tragedy/Schadenfreude

"Happy Birthday!"

Koko pleads with the Mikado

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

Tristan and Isolde

"Hmmm... what would Scooby Doo?"

'Male, 38, still living with his parents. They asked us to keep him overnight, so they could change the locks.'

'When are you going to give up this 9 to 5 nonsense and become a rock star like your brother?'

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

"Friend or foe?"

"...And to my favorite 'Mr. Down On His Luck' relative, I leave all my spare change."

Mr. Linkinwater intimates his approval of Nicholas

'Ok, there's some duct tape. Are you happy now, Mr. Prima Donna?...'

"What do you mean you don't think I'm the father?!"

A potato's favourite video

"It looked a lot better on Colin Firth."

'Oh, don't mind them, We're shooting a reality-based TV series,'

"Here at this firm, we pride ourselves on the family atmosphere we've created. As such, I'd like to welcome you abroad as my long lost love child, Inga."

"Your mother and I have seen your report card, and we've decided to distance ourselves from you."

Nicholas recognises the young lady unknown

Quackie was sure he would beat all his competitors, mistakenly believing that the three stages of the triathlon were swimming, running and flying.

The Family Joules: Part 8

'Would you like to try our new Family-Style meal deal? While you eat I yell at you to be more like your brother then criticize what you're wearing before saying how much you've disappointed me and your father.'

"Your father forgives the thirty attemps you've made on his life, Oedipus. How does that make you feel?"

'Do it again.'

Genco - A Corleone Subsidiary

"Got things worked out with that new son in law yet?"

"No she won't. She left her ring on the table."

Invitation